Swift Decisions: Don’t Blame Me
In a new article in The Guardian, several people expressed their trust into Taylor Swift, the superstar musician, when it comes to political guidance. Out of six quoted people, only one strongly opposes the idea of allowing celebrities influence such crucial things like elections. It should be noted that the person in question is 34 years old, while others are mostly closer to retirement age. And that’s very alarming because you’d expect primarily teenagers to treat her playlist as the ultimate sociopolitical pulpit. We should remember that it was exactly this kind of sentiment that drove so many to vote for Trump. Hillary’s campaign heavily relied on involving celebrities like Beyonce or Katy Perry to lure their fans into voting booths.
Because no matter how you dress it up, Taylor Swift is a billionaire who was born into money too. Her parents invested into her career, even buying stocks in the recording company that signed her up. Hardly any of those whose ideological preferences she’s allegedly supposed to influence will earn that kind of money in their entire lifetime. Or even their whole damn family tree for that matter. When someone like that tries to push whichever candidate into the nose of the middle class, my own vote automatically goes into protest mode. This is one of those frustrations Republicans tried to exploit in 2016 and it worked. Not really in my case. I wouldn’t be able to vote anyway because I’m not an American. Trust me, coming from a country where every vote is a protest, this is first-hand experience talking.
Politics is always driven to establish a symbiosis with showbusiness in order to enhance their outreach. Only a true celebrity is able to provide that desired bit of stardust they hope would sprinkle their ballot boxes too. If Marilyn Monroe isn’t enough to push you over the edge and into that seat on top, who is? In Serbia, they came up with a better idea, surprisingly pushing cash bonuses into the pockets of voters just before the start of election season. They didn’t need stars to do it for them. But maybe that’s the key to the liberal conundrum in America. The most likely way for Taylor Swift to truly turn the votes in favour of Biden is to share a bit of her net worth with his voters. She’s got more than anyone needs so no biggie.
The America that wants Donald Trump either behind bars or at least out of the Oval Office keeps falling into the same traps over and over again. So much so that it’s increasingly difficult to support their agenda. If you pitch your campaign in Jimmy Kimmel’s talk show instead of a school in rural Wisconsin, don’t expect a full house at your rallies. That’s why you need to push your ass outside of your comfort zone and go to places where gated communities are called ghettos. It’s an endless cycle of preaching to the converted and still expecting a change which isn’t coming. If you’re looking for it on the stage at the Grammy Awards, you already lost the battle.
People are tired of virtue signalling, hypocrisy and elitism that’s become the ideological axis of neoliberalism. There’s nothing to gain in it for the average Joe. He’s the one you need to impress and he don’t care about Taylor Swift’s opinion on anything. Someone needs to have the balls to tell her and her friends: shut up or sing. It’s a tough thing to do, because they’re already telling you what to eat, drink and put on your skin. Celebrity skincare brands are such a big thing that Rihanna’s sells better than her music. Which is even more serious than politics because it literally affects your health. That’s why I want to keep Hollywood off my skin and certainly out of the ballot boxes in the most powerful democracy of the free world.
Although all the rage of those on the other side of the isle is aimed at the former president, it’s his own side that should be fuming in anger because of what he reduced them to. A cultural punchline at best and mere sidekicks in their own show at worst. The partybreaker got hold of the DJ booth and he’s about to scratch your ears with a rusty gramophone needle. Before you know it, it’s going to be one hell of a hangover. Treating musicians as politically savy intellectuals is a bit like drinking bleach to cure Covid as recommended by The Donald. Taking such consequential suggestions from someone whose tax bracket is as far from yours as the Earth from the Sun is foolish to say the least.
The Trumpian Age in America has emphasized something that’s been in the background of mainstream politics ever since the Kennedys enthralled the masses with a narrative that was all about style, less about substance. Suddenly leaders became stars, attractive and stylish people that look, smell and talk like old money. Someone who fitted equally good into a fashion editorial or an election debate. Their private lives fed the gossip columnists that turned them into a soap opera. The White House became more than a residence: it was a fashion statement too. Naturally, many didn’t fit this mold. Jill Biden is a teacher and she looks like one too. Her boring granny vibe makes public functions feel like an another tedious PTA meeting. It must be as appealing as an unsolicited colonoscopy.
The further we go into the future, the further back into the past we must look for guidance and inspiration when it comes to proper leadership. Eleanor Roosevelt didn’t win a single Grammy and she sure as hell didn’t need to. Instead of the album of the year, she drafted the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. It could be because the modern means and criteria for success have radically changed. Due to the Internet, we live in a time of unparalleled outreach. In quite a few places worldwide that’s still not the case, so there are initiatives to include the right to internet access into the Declaration as well. Since politics is as agressively present online as well in the analog reality, it should be a no-brainer. That puts Washington and Hollywood in the same ring and we know who’s going to prevail. To quote Beyonce: if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it.
If you don’t want the Horny Orangutan’s claw touching the inauguration Bible in November again, learn your lessons at school, not on Facebook. Remember: you don’t vote with hashtags or emojis. There’s a reason it’s called a civic duty. Duty implies maturity and responsibility. How can we trust individuals to make an informed decision at a time when AI can write poetry? We have reached a stage in technical development where one is hardly able to tell reality from algorithm because the two are increasingly intertwined. In this shiny bubble, fairy godmothers like Taylor Swift cure your wounds with their wisdom. Until it bursts and you find it was all a lie. Your magic wand is actually a broken pitchfork and you don’t know why.
