Let me start by saying I'm not married so I've got enough time on my hands to observe. What I found out by observing is that more often than not, the best marriages are a matter of life or death and quite literally so. Meaning that you need your partner to help you get out of a wheelchair or hold your hand through chemo or something even worse that doesn't leave any time to ponder about feelings because he/she is literally your life raft. or vice versa. My mother died of ALS and I saw my dad disillusioned and tired of it all at times but he never once pondered the very idea of leaving her and two children, because she could no longer eat or drink on her own and it was all up to him to shoulder the burden. That was an embodiment of love for me. I'm not trying to say your marital problems aren't a big deal compared to couples troubled by things like that. They're just different but require equal bravery and honesty both towards yourself and your husband. If there's one lesson to be learned here is that marriage councelors aren't worth my money. I wish you luck, you certainly deserve it.