It would be better teach your kids their identity doesn't matter if they're broke and only rich people can truly afford to identify even as a bird if they feel like it because they're financially cushioned to protect themselves from harassment. The rest of us settle for breadcrumbs hoping someone will have pity on a gender-neutral kid and protect him from the world. As soon as they reach the age where they can understand it, you let them know that identity requires freedom which requires money to be enjoyed without hurdles. Or to quote James Carville, it's the economy, stupid. Sorry, but that's the harsh truth.