Conspiracy Theories: The Usual Suspects
My favourite Facebook groups are those propagating outrageous conspiracy theories because despite their unbelievable roots on the brink between a provocative joke and deliberate misinformation, there are always at least a few true believers in the pile of trolls that are in on the joke and entertained by the puns and countless memes.
One of them must be the one called Ptice nisu stvarne (Birds Aren’t Real), which wants you to believe birds are extinct and what we’re seeing flying around are camouflaged American drones used to spy on you. Members have shown impressive creativity with photos of birds of all kinds, hashtagged with #wearedoomed. If you’re an easy sell, you are doomed here indeed.
For most of us, it’s just a ridiculous distraction. But seeing how much effort is put into this is slightly disturbing. Not least because there we have been witnessing equally colorful conspiracy theories that had a serious consequence on our lives and society. Like the January 6 insurrection in Washington which was an outrageous lie sold to gullible idiots who took it as an order to get on their feet and engulf Washington in chaos none of them were actually prepared for. Inevitably, the conspiracy spiralled into a bloodshed. It ended up with a body count and a string of sentences for people who’ll probably have enough time behind bars to reflect on their own naivety and mistakes with long-term consequences for their families.
We shouldn’t forget the equally loony QAnon bunch who tried to sell you the story about baby-eating Democrats. America may be the land of the free, but some are definitely free of reason which the Trump Train pushed into the spotlight and threw under the bus once it had no more need for them. These things are possible because they’re built on a mountain of smaller lies that slowly erode your trust even into everything and everyone.
There’s skepsis and there’s the extreme kind. The one where everything is a lie or scripted until proven right, one where designer shops are full of good fakes. In a world like that, every charity or NGO is a financial laundromat and there’s an agenda behind everything. While there’s indeed an intention behind things we do, it doesn’t have to be an attempt of backstabbing.
Conspiracy is a necessity for those who are ready to do anything to keep their privilege. They tell you things you want to hear and always find someone to blame for everything that’s not going your way. You’re reduced to human ammunition for their schemes in an environment of violence which doesn’t allow you to focus on anything else but survival. In a situation like that, once it becomes a given, you give them the permission to keep you on a leash. Look at organised religion: there’s no better example of how much you can achieve with a narrative that requires an enemy for suffering to make sense. If you’re ready to lose your life for something only a few can grasp, you’re probably not one of them. And you’re getting fucked in the ass without even realising it.
Jomo Kenyatta, the former Kenyan Prime Minister, was a prolific anti-colonial activist who was very outspoken about things imposed on locals by invaders who turned the country upside down to adjust it to their own taste before plundering it for all it was worth. In his own words: “when the missionaries came, Africans had the land and the missionaries the Bible. They taught us to pray with our eyes closed. When we opened them, they had the land and we the Bible”. This is a very accurate description of how Islam and Christianity became so widespread and influential. Without politics, they’d be an endemic phenomenon with a smaller outreach. If you want to see what a cult without major political backing looks like, go and see your local Jehovah’s Witnesses handing out their leaflets in the streets.
On the other hand, if you want to see a cult backed by celebrities and lots of cash, look no further than Scientology and its champions like Tom Cruise. If you choose to believe it, you’ll live it no matter what. Science doesn’t have a soft spot for dogmatism, which is why it’s evolutionists and creationists don’t get along.
Don’t even get me started on the lot that believes the Earth is as flat as a pancake. Only their brains are. This attracts us when we’re faced with something we can’t understand. It triggers fear and anxiety, a fertile ground for silly conspiracies you’ll buy into because when you need hope, you’ll look for it even in the most unlikely places. Despair leads to regrettable choices by giving you the impression that a bad decision is better than nothing. Quite a few have fallen victim to this delusion.
It’s in the most difficult situations that I’m able to focus the most and clear my mind of any clutter preventing it from doing its job. When I’m late for a flight or an appointment, instead of an excuse, an emergency alternative is set into motion for damage control. Maybe I’d be a good crisis manager because there’s no point in allowing your head to blow up when it needs to be smart.
We live in a world which has conditioned us to rely on digital reality in order to thrive and survive. Whatever you might think, digital detox isn’t a trend. It’s a necessity because it declutters your head. We should be our own Marie Kondo: where there’s a will there’s a way. It’s like one of those motivational slogans on your wall, but only because it works. If it doesn’t, you have an another priority. A mistake in the making.
That’s why you must remember birds are real. Black isn’t white and white isn’t black. However, morons are morons and always will be. There are no voodoo dolls hidden underneath the seats of the House of Representatives. Those are reserved for talk shows with an audience that gets into emotional overdrive when they see a free panini press. Every Friday is black in their convoluted heads.
If you want to stay on the right track, don’t be the target audience for herbal concoctions that work miracles for autoimmune diseases. Or even worse, the one that shows up at a Tupperware party and actually buys something. Don’t be the one buying coke mixed with powder sugar and paying the price for the real deal. Though in this case, skepticism can kill a deadly habit before it gets out of control.
The reality we’re grappling with on a daily basis and the flood of information we’re exposed to makes it very difficult to tell the lie from the truth. This abundance of resources should encourage you to make informed decisions in matters that effect your life in quite unpredictable ways. I’m not exclusively talking about politics. It’s a much more mundane dilemma.
Don’t overthink things and buy that scarf you fancy though the cashmere is as soft as a foil blanket. At least they spelled Chanel without a typo. To quote George Constanza: it’s not a lie if you believe it. This logic applies both to those who think cats are trained drone killers and those letting bullies do their thinking for them. But you can’t save everyone. They sold their souls before the bidders showed up in the first place.
